Thursday, August 26, 2010

stillborn

Today I helped deliver a stillborn baby.  He was a darling little thing, bigger than we expected, with hands & feet that would have made him a good ball handler.  He looked perfect.
It is very sobering to be a part of someone’s life during a time of disappointment and of death.  How do I support without magnifying the loss; is it insensitive or disrespectful to have a somber atmosphere fragmented by times of lighter spirits & even laughter?  
It gripped my heart to hear cries of sadness on the Labor & Delivery ward-- a place which, most of the time, is bustling with life.  It broke my heart to see grandma weep as the head was being delivered. Why did this happen to her daughter, her grandson?  And it broke my heart to hear the affections of grandpa as he went to embrace his daughter.  The loss on multiple levels was palpable: a mother losing her son, just a month before he should have been born; a father losing his first son; grandparents losing their grandson; parents grieving over the hurt felt by their daughter, now a women, but forever their little girl. 
Today, faced with the reality of death; the hustle falls away, and perspective seems to slow the rotation of the world about itself...[i breathe]...[i cry]...  

1 comment:

monique said...

Wow...Kia, I love your writing & delivery of such a equally amazing & horribly sad moment of seeing a beautiful baby boy be welcomed into the world only to exit it before he could be loved & appreciated by those who waited almost 9 months for him. I can't imagine seeing this take place, but your words took me in that room. I assure u, it seemed like I saw the grandmother, father & grandfather, but I couldn't see the mother bc as one I never want to imagine that kind of pain, but I appreciated you for sharing this moment in time. Keep writing...we need you :), Monique McDowell www.bellaartes.org/heartcanvas blogger